Having low self-worth basically means you don’t think a huge amount of yourself. Maybe you don’t like what you see in the mirror or the way you always apologise when you don’t need to. You might have a raging self-critic, telling you you aren’t good enough and that you can’t do that awesome thing you’d love to do.
There are hundreds of different reasons why some of us feel this way. Maybe you had an especially critical parent growing up, maybe a bully’s words stuck with you. Whatever the reason, you’re not alone.
I don’t think it’s realistic to say everyone should love themselves in order to be happy – but I do think when we value ourselves, so many things can change.
I’ve noticed in particular how much self-worth comes into play when it comes to launching or running a business. It may not even be a business, it may be an Instagram account or a blog – some project you want to pour your heart and soul into, but you feel… stuck.
Even those of us with a pretty robust sense of self-worth can waver when it comes to trying something new (*cough cough*).
Before we build self-worth, I think it’s important to recognise how a lack of it may be affecting us. Having that sense of self-awareness is always the first step.
Everyone will of course be different, but in both my personal experience and in what I’ve seen in others, here are some key ways a lack of self-worth can affect us.
It makes you question your pricing
This is a biggie, and the one that I can seriously relate to. Putting monetary value on your time, expertise, skill, knowledge… is bloody hard. Maybe you look at everyone else’s pricing and think there’s no way you could charge that much (‘they’re professionals’). Maybe you worry no one will want to pay you. Suddenly you think you’re being ridiculous for charging at all and want to give everything up… sound familiar?
You’re so not alone. I think almost everyone who’s selling something feels this way at some point. I’m lucky enough to have a friend who also happens to be a business coach. She helped me so much with this and I honestly think it comes down to remembering you’ll attract your right people when you truly value your work.
In my case as well, I give away a lot for free here and through my newsletter. Charging for one-on-one coaching services won’t be for everyone, but for some it’ll be exactly what they want. And I’ll only be able to sustain that and do the work I want to do with others if I can earn enough money.
It makes you compare yourself to others
Ah yes, another one I came across (hey, sometimes you’ve gotta live it to teach it, right?). When our self-worth is wavering a little, we may find ourselves comparing our businesses to other, usually more established, businesses.
I’ve written about comparison before, but when it comes to your business the most important lesson I’ve learnt is that no one can do what you do, the way you do it. Yes, there are other coaches out there helping with similar topics to me, but none of them have lived through my experiences. None of them can teach what I teach, in the way I teach it.
We’re all unique and that’s what makes starting a business so exciting – there’ll be an audience for everyone if you look hard enough and do the work. Keep doing you and your people will come.
It stops you connecting with others
A lack of self-worth can often lead to a lack of confidence. This can stop some people from reaching out to others. Maybe you’re desperate to message that person on Instagram you admire but are scared of rejection. Maybe you’ve bought a ticket to an event but are debating if you’re brave enough to go.
Again, I’ve spoken here before about the power of connection and I truly think reaching out to others is one of the best ways to grow your business.
You can start online if that’s easier, start engaging more on social media, leave comments on your favourite blogs – maybe email someone who’s work you admire.
The worst that can happen is they don’t get back to you. And that could be for a million and one different reasons (none of which have anything to do with you). And the best thing that could happen? You could make a connection and start a genuine friendship.
It holds you back
I guess this is the culmination of all of the things I’ve mentioned. Lacking self-worth holds you back from dreaming big. It hinders your progress and stops you seeing your own potential. It keeps you small and distant.
Doing the work it takes to build your self-worth isn’t simple and it’ll look different for everyone, but the benefits for your business (and your life) are immeasurable.
This is why I’m so keen to work in this area and call myself a ‘self-worth’ coach. I know how much building it up can affect us, how much it’s affected me. I don’t think I would have been brave enough to step into this new direction had I not done the ‘work’ beforehand, and even then – I had some wobbles.
But rather than holding me back, these wobbles became learnings. I navigated them and pushed through.
This Sunday I’ll be exclusively launching my self-worth coaching services to my Blue Jay Monthly Musing subscribers. So if building up your self-worth sounds like something you want to do (and you want early access and a cheeky subscriber-only discount) I would love for you to subscribe to my newsletter.
If you run your own business, did any of the points above resonate? Let me know if one in particular stood out to you. One of the most helpful things in all of this is knowing we’re not alone.
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