My little tagline for Blue Jay of Happiness is that it’s a blog about ‘health, happiness and hope’, which is pretty cheery, right? Thing is, as much as I want this to be a space for light and positivity, I do think it’s important to acknowledge darker moments and negativity.
The wellness industry is a glaring white light full of smiles, perfect looking breakfasts and motivational quotes. And, as lovely as this all is, I do think it can put a lot of pressure on us as a society.
We are being shown a picture of what health is. What happiness looks like. So when your life doesn’t look like this every day, it’s easy to think ‘is there something wrong with me?’.
Ironically perhaps, I feel like this societal pressure of positivity affects us in a negative way. Making us feel anxious and worried when our life doesn’t reflect that.
The truth is, everyone has shit days.
We all have those days when we can’t force fake smiles for our colleagues, when all we want to do is stay in bed and eat pizza all day, when coffee is the only thing that gets us through.
These days are… important. I mean, they aren’t great (obviously) but it’s important to recognise, acknowledge and allow those less cheery feelings to surface. If we push them down under mumbled “I’m fine”s they will take root and fester.
As tempting as it is to stick your head in the sand and try to push through, often it’s better if we just embrace our shit days – take ownership of them.
What to do when you’re having a shit day
- If you can, take the day off work. If you’re feeling run down or just not yourself, book a day off to help clear your head. Sometimes the monotonies of every day life get too much when you’re feeling rubbish.
- Think about what you need. For some people it might literally be a day in bed, eating junk food and watching Netflix. For others it may be going to the gym and getting some face-time in with friends.
- Write about it. Try writing about how you’re feeling, this may help you figure out what’s causing it and even how to resolve it.
- Be honest. If you can’t get time off work, or you have to interact with other people, be honest if they comment on your mood. Say you’re not feeling your best, that you’re having a shit day. If you don’t want to talk about it don’t, but being honest helps take some pressure off being ‘cheery’ when you’re feeling anything but.
- Watch a movie. Sometimes I like to watch a sad movie when I’m feeling sad – it’s an excuse for a good cry and just helps me let out what’s bubbling under the surface.
- CRY. Crying literally releases stress hormones and relieves tension. It’s nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
- Eat chocolate and listen to sad songs. Sorry, sometimes it’s the only way.
While I aim to make content in Blue Jay positive and motivational, I want to make it clear that nobody is happy all the time, including me. It simply isn’t attainable or healthy.
What is healthy is respecting your emotions, understanding your needs and knowing what to do when tough feelings emerge.