Dealing with anxiety and depression in relationships
A while ago I asked my Instagram followers if there was anything they wanted to see here on Blue Jay of Happiness. One of the ideas that came through was ‘how to deal with anxiety and depression in relationships’, something I’d had in the back of my mind to write about. I took this as the sign to get on and write it, but realised in order to do this,…
How to take a compliment
There’s something about compliments isn’t there? Something uncomfortable. Something that makes many of us squirm a little and respond with a knee jerk reaction. We might reject the compliment outright, change the subject quickly or immediately return the compliment (something I do a lot). A couple of months ago I went to a talk by Action for Happiness about positive psychology and relationships. I learnt a lot from the talk,…
Dealing with conflict
It feels like a burning fist, punching you in the stomach. The feeling rises to your chest, face and head like a forest fire. You don’t know what to say or what to do. Maybe you walk away. Maybe you react angrily. Maybe you just start crying. Whatever your reaction – can we all agree that conflict is not fun? FYI, my reaction used to be either walk away or…
Monthly mindscape – bed
I’m writing this on Bank holiday Monday, Dan and I have been having a lovely, slow day together and my eyes are feeling heavy. I’m in prime nap mode (post gin and burger, warm air blowing through the window and a comfy sofa beneath me) but instead of napping, I feel like writing. Dan’s got some beautiful music playing, I found a picture that’s inspired me and I’m ready to…
When your loved ones don’t support you
Have you ever felt good about a decision you’ve made, but then you tell a friend or family member about it and their reaction makes you question everything? They come across as unsupportive and uncaring, shrouding everything in doubt. Perhaps you have someone in your life who seems to live to pick you apart? Someone who relishes any opportunity to make you feel small? Having these people in our lives…
Finding love on Tinder
A few weeks ago I posted a photo on Instagram for the weekend hashtag project “Made with love”. In the caption I explained that the sheets of writing in the photo were pieces of prose I’d written in response to pieces of music Dan had played on his guitar, recorded and sent to me during our first summer together. I later wrote up the pieces of prose into a book and…
Supporting someone struggling with their mental health
Up until now, when I’ve discussed mental health on Blue Jay, I’ve mainly stuck to self-management and self-care type posts. So I thought it was about time I looked at it from another angle: how to support someone struggling with their mental health. Almost all of us will encounter this challenge at some point in our lives. It may be a parent, sibling, friend, partner or even a work colleague.…
How self-love transforms relationships
Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Whether you love it or hate it, today brings love into focus, and for today’s blog I want to talk a little about self-love and how it affects relationships. We’ve all heard the saying ‘you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you’, and you know what? It’s true. Before I met my current partner Dan, I had been single for a year. My…