Finding happiness when… living at home in your thirties

Within my little ‘happiness‘ section on Blue Jay I wanted to have a series on ‘finding happiness when…’ and for my first one I thought I would talk about living with your parents in your thirties.

Thanks to unaffordable housing, for our generation it’s almost the norm to be back home with the parents.

I turned 30 last February and I was so happy that I was celebrating it in a lovely little flat that I rented with a friend. After years of being at home with my parents for various reasons (financial mainly) I always said I didn’t want to be at home when I turned 30. So I was thrilled.

I was less thrilled when my time at the flat came to an end later that year and I realised I would have to move home once again.

My friend followed her dreams of moving to the coast and I wasn’t ready to leave my job or partner to join her, so I decided to stay in the area. With no one else in a position to rent with me and being unable to afford a place on my own, I had to come home.

Now, don’t get me wrong, my parents are great… but understandably it knocks your confidence when at 30 you find yourself back in your childhood room. It knocks you even harder when almost every one of your friends has bought a house already. For me, buying is so far away, it isn’t even on my radar. I just want to find a space I feel at home in, in a city I love.

Until then, I have to look at the positives and avoid comparing myself to others. If you’re in the same boat, these tips may help you do the same.

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How to find happiness when living at home in your thirties

  • SAVE. For most of us, moving back home has financial motives, so don’t lose sight of this. Save as much money as you can, one day this’ll make a lovely deposit or go towards new furniture.
  • Make your room YOU. If your parents are happy for you to do so, give your room a make-over so it represents you now. Add some inspirational prints, buy some new bedding and make it a haven.
  • Set BOUNDARIES. Remember, you are technically living under their roof, so respect any house rules they may have, but don’t be shy to set boundaries. For me, if my door is shut, it’s because I need some alone time and my parents know not to bother me.
  • Think about the PERKS. Chances are you don’t have to pay for many bills, you don’t have to worry about shelling out when the boiler breaks and you may even get your dinner made for you from time to time. These are perks! Enjoy them.
  • Climb out of that damn COMPARISON TRAP. It’s only natural to compare yourself to other people your age, but try not to beat yourself up about it. First of all, nobody’s life is perfect and second of all, you are all on your own journeys. Just because yours looks a little different or goes in a different direction, it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

How many of you live with your parents? Does it bother you?

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