When you’ve ‘recovered’

When you go through a mental illness, reach your rock bottom and get help, the goal is often to reach the shiny, happy place called recovery. You do all the hard work you need to glue yourself back together again, build up your strength and re-enter the real world.

You go back to school/work, you see friends, do boring things like food shopping. You take each day as it comes, with the label of recovered on your back.

But of course, the work doesn’t stop here. And that’s what I want to talk about today.

It can perhaps be quite easy for the friends and family of a recovered person to breathe a sigh of relief when they receive the label of ‘recovered’. They no longer have to worry. Things can go back to ‘normal’ (whatever that means).

I’m not saying friends and family of someone who’s in recovery should always be worried, but I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t assume because someone is seen to be ‘recovered’, the hard work is over.


Recovery isn’t linear. There are highs, lows, relapses and shifts in different directions. From my experience, if you’ve got a tendency towards one mental health issue, you may well have a tendency towards others.

This is pure speculation, but I believe anxiety, eating disorders and self-harm often travel in a happy little family, and I’ve spent time with all three.

I’m not sure I would go so far as to say if you’ve experienced a mental health problem, you’ll be battling it forever, but I think it’s very important to be aware of your tendencies and to have the tools in place to counteract them if they rear their heads again.

And for the friends and family, I think it’s important to stay aware of the recovered person’s tendencies and to reach out now and then to see how they’re getting on.

I’ve been recovered from my eating disorder for over 10 years now, but I still have moments that test me. Recently I posted on Instagram about how happy I am with my body and that it’s the biggest it’s ever been. The very next day I went clothes shopping, found a dress and nearly didn’t buy it because of the way my belly popped out through the fabric.

It’s been so ingrained into me (and society) that women’s bellies should be flat, a familiar voice piped up telling me to buy a different dress, something more flattering.


After some internal deliberation (read: arguing), I decided if the only thing stopping me from buying a dress I like is a stupid voice, feeding me lies about women’s bodies… I HAD to buy the dress. So I did. And I celebrated with a blueberry muffin.

A win, yes, but also an important reminder that no matter how far into my recovery I am, no matter how happy I am with my body or how invested in the body positivity movement I am, there will always be moments like this to come along and test my resolve.

For those in recovery from eating disorders in particular, fighting back against a view held by the majority of society (i.e. thin = good) is fucking hard work. It’s a constant battle.

So I guess I wanted to write this blog as a reminder to anyone out there who considers themselves to be in recovery or to friends and family of a recovered person that it won’t always be easy. But, the good news is, you are hella strong because you’ve already pulled through something indescribably hard and you can keep on pulling.


My advice to you would be:

Know your tools

Understand what helps you in recovery and keep that toolbox close to hand. For me, this means talking it out with someone, writing in a journal, meditating, practising yoga, being kind to myself and sharing the experience.

Don’t be afraid to reach back out for support

When I started struggling with anxiety last year, I didn’t hesitate to go to the doctor. I knew my past and knew speed was important if I didn’t want to let things spiral. I got some therapy and now have a whole new set of tools and resources to help me. Know what your resources are, know who to call, when to make appointments, where to find support. There’s no shame in asking for help again.

Take the pressure off

There’s a weird sense of pressure when you’re recovered to always be ‘OK’, and even more so if you become an activist, talking about mental health and supporting others. Remember to practise what you preach – it’s OK to not be OK.

Personally, as someone who writes and shares a lot about mental health online, I find it helpful to share these moments when things aren’t OK. It’s helpful for people to see mental health for what it really is – as complex and ongoing as physical health. We’ll all get dips from time to time and it’s refreshing sometimes to share the not so shiny, happy moments.


Keep on top of your self-awareness

This has been the most important thing for me that underlines everything else. Daily journaling (I use the Happiness Planner) helps me reflect on my day and spot any patterns or spiralling thoughts. I’ve also tuned into my body so I know when I need to slow down and prioritise self-care. A tight throat, chest pain, headaches and restlessness are all signs for me to take time out, breathe and re-group. Do whatever you need to stay aware and tuned in.

It’s work, but it’s fulfilling work that gives you a whole lotta insight. And yeah, sometimes it sucks too. It can be tiring and frustrating. Know that you’re not alone and know that the strength you have inside you is infinite. You can always draw on it and you can always draw on your resources to get you through.

Here’s to you, whatever stage you’re at – you’re incredible.

*Sign up to the Blue Jay Monthly Musings newsletter*

– Instagram – Twitter – Facebook – Pinterest –

Save for later:

When you've recovered from mental health problems

8 thoughts on “When you’ve ‘recovered’

  1. isabellahume says:

    I’m currently going through a dip and it’s really sucky. My last bad episode was about two years ago and I’m trying to cling to the fact that I came through that and that this will be okay too. Eh, be alreet.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sarahrichelleblog says:

    You are amazing for buying the dress and celebrating with a muffin – its basically the same as sticking two fingers up to mental illness and superficiality 🙂

    I totally get where you are coming from with this too. I wouldn’t say I have recovered from an ED but its not obvious and I’m not under a Dr anymore however definitely still struggle mentally with depression and anxiety. Its just so frustrating as its such an invisible illness and if your not self aware then it can eat up your entire life!
    Great post X

    Liked by 1 person

    • bluejayofhappiness says:

      Ahh thank you, that’s exactly how it felt, like sticking two fingers up at it all 💪

      It is incredibly hard when the illness is invisible, often unless you tell people how you’re feeling, no one will know. Self-awareness and communication is key ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Erika @ Just Letter-Perfect says:

    I totally agree with your post. I’ve been pretty much depression-free for almost a year now, but I still get my bad spells. My anxiety is the worst, which is why it’s so important to always, always keep my coping tools handy and practice them regularly. Thanks for the motivation. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s