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The relationship between self-care and self-doubt

One of the reasons I’m so passionate about self-care is because of the impact it has on other areas of our lives, including the way we feel about ourselves and our capabilities. Think about those times when self-care slips off your list of priorities.

When you’re not taking the time you need to give yourself what you need, you’re not valuing yourself. When you’re not practising basic self-care, you’re quietly telling yourself that you don’t deserve it.

You become more tired, your stress levels increase and guess what? Self-doubt feeds off this. Your inner critic becomes more powerful and vocal. You feel exhausted and believe you’re incapable of whatever it is you’re trying to do.


This self-doubt and lack of self-worth then in turn makes it harder for you to practise self-care because you believe you’re not worthy.


It’s a vicious cycle to get stuck in and it’s only in the last couple of years that it’s clicked with me how important self-care is for affirming my worth and quieting self-doubt. I noticed that when I was feeling stressed and tired, not meditating or saying yes too much, I felt the waves of fear and doubt much more.

And when I did get back into the habit of meditating, saying no and generally looking after myself better, I felt calmer and more capable. It didn’t make the waves of fear and doubt disappear, but it made them smaller and easier to surf.

This is because when we make a commitment to self-care, we’re telling ourselves that we deserve it. We give ourselves the time we need. We set boundaries to protect our mental health. We say to ourselves that we’re worthy. And this sets the foundation for self-belief to grow.

Making a commitment to self-care

So here’s my invitation to you, make a commitment to yourself and to self-care. Even if it’s just one small thing you can try to incorporate into your life. Try the following steps to help with this:

1. Think about what small act of self-care you can do daily as a way to encourage you to value yourself more. This could be journaling, meditation, cooking a meal from scratch, reading, connecting with a loved one, doing something creative, taking your lunch break.

2. Write down what these acts mean to you - why are you doing them? For example I want to meditate more regularly because it helps me feel calmer and makes me better able to support other people around me. For you it may be that you want to take your lunch breaks because it’ll help you be more productive in the afternoon and sets a good example for others in the office.

3. Plan your self-care in and remind yourself what it’s all for. Remind yourself that it’s a tool to help you grow self-belief and reach your full potential.


The more I learn about self-worth and self-care, the more I understand the various links and relationships, and damn - I find it fascinating.

If you’re looking to prioritise self-care and need a little support, take a look at my self-care strategy session offering on my coaching page. We’ll have a 90-minute chat to help you understand what self-care means to you and practically how to fit it in.

Do you have any self-care goals/intentions for 2019? Let me know in the comments!


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0 comments

Victoria Abah says:
January 6, 2019 at 1:55 pm

I am really glad I took my time to ready this. Thanks for putting it up.

Reply
bluejayofhappiness says:
January 6, 2019 at 2:02 pm

Thank you for reading it! So glad it was helpful ❤️

Reply
Peta says:
January 7, 2019 at 8:19 am

Kat this is beautifully written, I am totally with you on this. When I dedicate just a small portion of time each morning to myself, to sit still, journal and then stretch I’m a totally different person for the rest of the day.
Sending lots of love and cat cuddles your way,
Peta xx

Reply
bluejayofhappiness says:
January 7, 2019 at 9:23 pm

Thank you Peta ❤️ sounds like you have your morning routine sorted - love the sound of that ☺️ xx

Reply
ayoungfolksblog says:
January 7, 2019 at 9:17 pm

This was a wonderful read! I treat myself as I would a child making sure I get enough sleep, eat healthy foods, learn new things, have time for fun, etc. Also treating myself as I would a friend, taking my own advice, not criticizing myself when i’m feeling down, it’s amazing what little things can be done to improve oneself!

Reply
bluejayofhappiness says:
January 7, 2019 at 9:23 pm

Thank you, so glad you enjoyed it! That sounds perfect, and you’re right - so many little things we can do ❤️

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Hey, I’m Kat.

I’m a mentor, writer, and podcast host dedicated to empowering creatives to develop the confidence they need to live a life filled with freedom and fulfillment.

Read more about me here.

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