This week I’m sharing something short and sweet for you to get your teeth into… a short story about pancakes. Christmas can be stressful at times, so I hope this slice of fiction helps you feel a little calmer.
This story is also dedicated to anyone out there living with an eating disorder. I hope it can give you hope that things can get better. Sending all my love.
I’d love to hear what you think about sharing fiction on the podcast over on Instagram, you can find me @katbluejay.
You can listen wherever you get your podcasts or listen here:
LINKS AND FURTHER READING:
- Monthly mindscape – pancakes
- The joy of food
- Let’s stop demonising food
- Eating disorder recovery tips
- How to approach someone about their eating disorder
- Beat eating disorder charity (support and helplines)
Well hello everyone and Merry Christmas! I hope you’re having a lovely day if you’re listening to this the day it goes out. Now I was originally planning to take a week off the podcast this week, but I decided last minute to do something a little bit different. So I’m a real big fan of the Calm app and the sleep stories they have on there. They’re little stories that really help you relax, unwind, and, for me, it helps me get to sleep. So I thought it might be fun to do a little bit of fiction here and it might just be the perfect form of escapism you need over the Christmas period.
So I write short stories on my blog every single month. And the one I’m going to read today is one that’s been published there already and it’s called ‘Pancakes’. And while it is technically fiction, it is based very heavily on an experience myself and Dan had.
But before we get started, I would love for you to take a few deep breaths. In through your nose and out through your mouth. Try and let go of everything that’s held in your body and mind, release any tension you have, and just focus on the sound of my voice. Okay, if you’re ready? Let’s begin…
Flicking through Instagram stories she watches her favourite blogger pouring maple syrup over a tall stack of pancakes. Her mouth watered instantly. When was the last time I had pancakes? She thought to herself. If you have to think about it, it’s been too long – she rationalised.
Crawling into bed that night with her boyfriend she whispered, “Do you fancy going out for pancakes tomorrow?” He smiled and said “That sounds like an excellent idea”. They curled up together and fell asleep with limbs entwined.
As the sunlight woke them, she felt her stomach growl. It wasn’t just a physical hunger though, it was an emotional hunger.
She knew the fluffy battered pancakes would fill her soul with happiness – she grinned at the prospect.
The discussion about where to go for breakfast was a short one, they knew where they were going to go… where they always go – they do the best pancakes there. She told him about her craving and why it surfaced, “Wow, I guess they don’t call them influencers for nothing do they?” he chuckled.
Sitting at the table she ordered a tall glass of juice, coffee, a small stack of pancakes with bacon on the side. He ordered his usual smoothie and full English.
They talked about the fact they hadn’t been out to eat together in a while, their plans for the rest of the weekend and how terrible the film they watched the night before was.
Then the waiter walked over carrying their food. Sat in front of her, she took the glorious sight in.
The pancakes themselves were thick, three of them stacked on top of each other. Maple syrup was draped over them, like a silk night dress. A careful cube of salted butter crowned the stack, while crispy bacon rashers waited patiently at the side.
He looked at her from across the table and smiled, “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you this smiley” he said, quietly laughing to himself. She laughed in return and shook her head – he had no idea.
Because, you see this wasn’t just about the pancakes.
It wasn’t just about satisfying an emotional and physical hunger. It wasn’t just about finding joy in syrup soaked cakes.
No, It was about how easy it was to make the decision to go out and get pancakes for breakfast. It was about not having to fight a mental illness for her right to eat anymore. It was about living somewhere that allowed her to spontaneously stroll into town and get pancakes.
And, it was about him. Living with him, laughing with him, eating with him.
“Yeah” she said, “I have a lot to smile about.”
And there we have it. I really hope you enjoyed that and I have to say this definitely goes out to anyone who is struggling with an eating disorder right now. I know how difficult it can be, especially around Christmas time when there’s lots of food around. Yeah, so I guess this is just a message of hope to anyone out there struggling that it can get better and you can hopefully have your own pancake moment sometime.
But I’m gonna go now and leave you to enjoy your Christmas Day. I hope it’s a fantastic one, I hope you are able to eat plenty of lovely, delicious food and spend time with loved ones and I’ll be back with you next week.