We are on episode 50! Woohoo! This is the last episode of season four and as the 50th episode, it prompted some reflection and a somewhat meandering pep-talk. I hope you gain some utility from what I share here and a huge thank you to everyone who’s listened so far.
Season 5 will be coming early 2022 and until then I hope to bring back blogs and more regular newsletters, and of course you are always welcome to dive into the archives of the podcast.
Listen to episode 50 wherever you get your podcasts or below:
Links and further reading
- Seedling Ep 41. Questioning societal expectations
- Seedling Ep 20. It’s OK to go slow
- Blue Jay of Happiness shop
- Blue Jay of Happiness newsletter
In this last episode of season 4 I’m leaving you with a slightly meandering pep talk that essentially comes down to this – it’s never too late to start. A reminder that you are the author of your story, and other people’s narratives…? They don’t apply to you. So sit back, relax and let’s dive into it.
Hello everyone, how are you doing? So here we are at episode 50, how did that happen?! I also realised in October the podcast turned two, so I’ve been chatting to you for 50 episodes over two years, and what a two years it’s been huh?
A lot has happened in between these episodes, personally and globally. A pandemic started, not sure if you heard about that… anti-racism and climate movements gained traction. We all had to learn how to find safety amongst the chaos.
I burnt myself out trying to get my coaching business off the ground alongside a day-job. I pivoted the business towards self-worth education and since then I’ve been in experimentation mode, figuring out how to do what I know in my bones I’m meant to do. There was a house move after declaring ‘no more’ to mouldy walls and moth infestations, and realising that just because we’re not ready to buy a house yet, doesn’t mean we don’t deserve to flourish in the meantime.
I’ve had wobbles, moments of feeling unstoppable and everything in between. I’ve despaired at the state of the world and dug deep into resilience and hope. I became an auntie for the first time to my brilliant niece, an experience that’s cemented my purpose.
And that purpose is that I want more of us to value ourselves, our needs and our impact. I want us to feel confident in our contributions to this world so we don’t hold back. I want us to believe in ourselves, to be kinder to ourselves and to be there for ourselves just as much as we are for others.
I don’t want my niece to doubt her value, to doubt the joy she’s brought to this world. I don’t want her to live in fear of being too much. I don’t want her to question herself, to believe the hateful words of her inner critic. I don’t want her to shrink. I want to see her expand, just as she is expanding right now. I see videos sent by my sister of her running into the centre of a circle of people because she wants them all to see her dancing, and I don’t want her to ever lose that spark. I know the world does what it can to snuff out that spark, I’ve had my own spark snuffed out in the past. So if I can pass on what I know about reigniting it, I will do everything in my power to do that, no matter how long it takes.
When I started this season of the podcast, in episode 41, I spoke about questioning societal expectations, things like climbing the career ladder, buying a house, getting married, having kids – the things that seem to be expected of us. I talked about the importance of questioning these, going into such decisions with eyes wide-open so we’re doing them for the right reason. I talked about the ones I’d like to happen and the ones that I don’t plan on pursuing.
Well, earlier this week, I had a moment of doubt around all of this. Surrounded by other people following this path I looked around me and questioned, ‘have I made a mistake here?’. Should I have continued on the career progression laid out in front of me, what would have been an easy climb. If I had, I would very likely have more money right now, which could have sped up the progression of things like buying a house.
I think it’s natural to have these moments of doubt when you’re treading a slightly unusual path. When you’ve perhaps shunned the expected route and taken a detour to follow your passion. Interestingly after that wobble, I had some moments this week that immediately reminded me of why I’ve taken this path. Exciting ideas rose to the surface for Blue Jay, opportunities started popping up at my day-job. Something out there heard my doubt and wanted to reach out a hand to say it’s OK. And if you’re listening to this and are having a wobble, I want to reach out my hand and say, it’s OK.
I turned 35 this year, and in many ways I don’t feel like an adult. I don’t think I’m alone there, I’m beginning to realise most of us never feel ‘grown up’. And yet it’s easy to think it’s too late. Too late for us to follow a dream, too late for us to change our mind, to try something new, to start a new adventure.
When I started Blue Jay of Happiness in 2017 after a previous 8 years of blogging, I wondered if I was too late. The idea of turning a blog into a business felt impossible, but I did it anyway. When I decided to start a podcast, I thought I was too late. There were already so many amazing ones out there, why add more noise? But, I did it anyway.
When I burnt out last summer, I thought I was too late to make anything of this idea of mine. But I made a pivot and, you guessed it – did it anyway. And driving all of this was my purpose, yes, but also the knowledge that if I didn’t try, if I didn’t do all that I could to make this happen, I would regret it. And in my mind the pain of that regret would always override the pain of doing the thing.
All of this to say – it is never too late. It’s never too late to rediscover your worth and reignite that spark I spoke about earlier. And it’s never too late to follow your purpose. You are the author of your life, you get to decide when to make a plot twist and when to start a new chapter. Let other people’s narratives drift by, because they are not for you.
OK I think I’m going to wrap up now as this is feeling a bit like an outpouring of thoughts which is lovely but if I don’t put a lid on it it might get messy. I hope something in this episode has spoken to you. If anything I hope you realise you’re not alone in your doubts, your fears, your what-if thinking. I hope you realise it is not too late for whatever you want to do. And if you’re not sure what that is, you might find my Growth Spurt e-book on confidence and purpose helpful. In it I share practical tools and tips to grow your confidence, find your purpose, identify your core values and take those important steps forwards. And if everything just feels a bit much at the moment and you need some clarity, my audio course on overcoming overwhelm could be just what you need. You can find details of both at bluejayofhappiness.com/shop.
And that’s all I have for season 4! I’m planning to return with season 5 in early 2022 and in the meantime there will be fortnightly blogs and newsletters to enjoy and of course, I will be over on Instagram @katbluejay so do come on over and chat to me there. I’d love to hear what you thought of season 4 and if you haven’t already, please do rate and review the podcast – I don’t think there’s been a review yet this year so that would be such a lovely way to celebrate 50 episodes!
Thanks so much for listening and until next time, take care.
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