Last month I wrote about some mistakes I made when I first started coaching, sharing the lessons I learnt along the way. Today I want to take a broader look at that situation and talk about how we can cope when something doesn’t go the way we thought it would.
Maybe you’re a business owner and your latest offering didn’t do as well as you hoped. Maybe you made a career change but it didn’t end up being what you thought. Maybe the fall has nothing to do with work. Whatever it is – we’re all human and we all make mistakes.
The way we pick ourselves back up after a fall however, can make a world of difference. Here are a few steps I think we can do to make falls a little less scary.
Process what happened
As tempting as it may be to skip this step, I honestly think it’s important for us to feel our feelings. It’s OK to be disappointed, sad, angry. The trick is not to dwell for so long that it affects your motivation or self-belief. Take a little time to feel crap about what’s happened. Hide under a blanket, eat ice cream, let those tears come. Give yourself a time limit here though (depending on what the fall was) and as soon as you feel ready, move on to the next step…
Think about what you can learn from the experience
There will always be something you can learn from your experience. Uncover these learnings by journaling about the experience or talking it out with someone you trust. Ask yourself what you would do differently next time. Try and identify what blocks got in your way. Consider what elements were out of your control.
Step back and reassess
Once you feel you’ve understood what happened and what you’ve learnt, step back (if you can). If it’s work related, try taking a small break or plan in a day when you can do some big-picture thinking. Reconnect with your why and reassess the situation – how can you try again? Do you need a different approach? What’s important to you right now?
Make an action plan
Now’s the time to make an action plan. When we fall, it’s easy for us to get spooked and not want to try again. This is when we need to dig deep and keep going. The fear will be there, but try and see it as a passenger on your journey, not the driver. You get to decide where to go now. The step below will help you with this…
Lean on your support system
When the fear of falling feels too much to bear, lean on your support system. Talk to friends and family, talk to people in your community who get it. Join a facebook group that can offer support or reach out on Instagram. If you think you would benefit from more structured support, consider hiring a coach.
Embrace the journey
I hate to end on a cliche, but hey – this one is true. This life of ours is a journey, and wouldn’t it be boring if it went in a straight line? Think about all the twists and turns your life has taken to get you where you are, some of them have worked out for the best I’m sure. Remind yourself that mistakes, falls and twists in life can often help grow.
And there we have it, a short but sweet blog this week. I hope you found the steps here useful and that it’ll be something for you to come back to if you have a fall in the future.
If you’re looking to widen your support network to include a coach and you think we could be a good fit, take a look at my coaching page and get in touch.
That’s all from me this week, there’ll be a new podcast coming your way on Wednesday about the impact of self-worth and in next week’s blog I’m sharing what I do on social media free Saturdays.
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