I think all of us can relate to the feeling of being stuck in a certain area of our lives. You feel like you don’t know which way to turn or how to take the next step forward. You know things have to change, but you don’t know how. You feel frustrated, exhausted and paralysed.
It’s a horrible feeling. But the frustration we feel can be turned into fuel, propelling us to do something about it. Because we all have the ability to make changes and move forward. You may need extra support along the way, but it is entirely possible.
I say this a lot, but I truly believe it to be true - the only constant in life is change. You won’t always feel this way.
Today I want to talk through some steps you can take to come unstuck. So read through them and see if you can take that first step today.
Understand what you want to change
If you’re feeling stuck, you probably already have a good idea of how you want things to change. Maybe you see it in the distance, but you just can’t quite get there. To start with, I want you to really get your head around what it is that needs to change in order to stop you from feeling stuck. Where is it you need to go?
Perhaps you’re feeling stuck in your career, what would give you the fulfilment and freedom you want? If your relationships feel stagnant, ask yourself how you’d like them to be. If it’s a specific area you want to improve, such as confidence, ask yourself how you’d like this to change.
Visualise the impact this change would make
Now you know what the change is you want to make, give it some flavour by visualising the difference it’ll make to your life. Let yourself daydream here. What would that new career feel like, day-to-day? How would your relationships nourish you if they changed? How would things be different if you felt more confident?
This step helps you feel more hungry for change. It gives you direction and a destination.
Identify what’s holding you back
Now for the slightly less fun part. In order to move towards your destination, you have to know what’s holding you back. You may already have a really clear idea and know exactly what it is, or you may be unsure. If you’re struggling to identify what it is that’s stopping you from moving forward, try journaling about it using the following prompts:
- My biggest fear about taking the next step is….
- If …. wasn’t in my life, I could move forward
- In order to move forward … needs to happen
Consider how deep this goes and what might help you move forward
By now, hopefully you’ll have a clearer idea of what’s stopping you. Now, think about why it’s stopping you. Is it something you’ve always struggled with? Is it a more recent road block? How much work do you think will be needed to come unstuck?
At this point I want to remind you that you don’t have to do this work alone. There are so many forms of support at this point that can help you, from reading books to getting coaching. If you’re not sure what might help, take a look at my post on ‘how to tell if an investment is right for you’ for some pointers.
Set yourself small challenges
Once you’ve found the right support, it’s time to start taking small steps forwards by setting yourself challenges. If you want to change your career, set yourself a challenge to contact someone in that industry to learn more. If you want your relationships to change, set yourself a challenge to set a date where you can talk honestly and openly. If you want to build confidence, set yourself a challenge to speak up in your next meeting at work.
These small challenges won’t all be smooth sailing. This is why support is so important. Whether it’s friends, an online community or a coach, their role is to pick you back up when you fall and encourage you to keep going.
Be kind to yourself and remember it’s OK to go slow
We all move at different paces and this is totally OK. I’ve written about it here and I have a podcast on the topic coming soon, but we all have different things slowing us down, whether it’s our mental health or our financial circumstances. It’s OK to go slow, so please treat yourself with kindness and grace.
I hope this was helpful and if you are feeling stuck, please know you’re not alone. You’re always free to pop me a DM on Instagram if you need to chat anything through.
And of course, a huge part of my coaching work is about helping people come unstuck. My new packages will be launching on 30th March and I’ll be offering newsletter subscribers an introductory discount, so do make sure you sign up to my newsletter if you want to hear more on that.
I’ll be back next week with a podcast to help you get out of a negative thoughts cycle and a blog with some small steps to help you build confidence. Until then, take care.
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